Edging Explained
What is edging?
Edging is a method of stretching out how long it takes to reach orgasm during sex. It is a way to practice orgasm control and can increase the intensity of an orgasm as it builds excitement within the body in the lead up to it.
It can be practiced solo or with a partner. When practicing edging with a partner, communication is key as you need to know how many cycles of teasing they can handle and how to touch them during a cool-down phase before intensifying it again.
"Edging is about bringing ourselves to the edge of arousal and pulling back, not racing to climax by heightening the arousal plateau," explains certified sex therapist, Amanda Pasciucco.
How to practice edging
SPACE
First, by setting up your space, lowering the lights and allowing yourself time - at least 30 minutes.
ESENTIALS
Making sure everything you need is close by; lube, a massage oil or candle and a pleasure toy to explore your body with.
Once you're set up your nervous system can begin to regulate, dropping into the body and out of the mind.
VISUALS
If it is something that you're comfortable with, use a small mirror and observe your genitals first, with no judgement but just observation. Starting with two minutes of breath-work while you're gazing at your genitals or closing your eyes.
Breathing through your nose and out through mouth in a rhythmic pattern will allow the nervous system to settle and let more blood flow to your sexual organs.
TOUCH
Edging is all about the build up, so before you or your partner begin to touch your genitals, you want to use massage and touch first.
This can be along your legs, back, bum, nipples and chest. Using the erogenous zones can be helpful to tune into your more sensitive areas.
Adding extra stimulations in such as a feather tickler, a leather flogger or a crop can help create more excitement in building anticipation.
ADD A TOY
After a few minutes of massage and building arousal, it is now a perfect time to use your toy. Glass wands are a great tool as their texture and ease of use to glide in and outside of the vulva. And for penis owners, strokers are excellent for feeling into all the subtle vibrations and textures.
GO SLOW
Slower is faster with edging, by using a scale from 1-10, with 10 representing an orgasm, stimulate all your pleasure points to about a 6 or 7 on the scale and then pausing stimulation. This allows your body to regulate and before beginning stimulation again. You can either intensify your stimulation higher on the scale or continue until you either want to let yourself orgasm or release the practice.
NOTE YOUR PLEASURE
Letting your body tune into the subtle sensations helps you understand how pleasure looks and feel to you as an individual as well as helps you understand the pleasure points of your partner. Knowing that orgasm isn't always the goal, but harnessing the power of arousal instead gives you more scope in exploring and elevating your pleasure.
